Tomorrow

Tomorrow.. i promised myself,
tomorrow I will be fine,
because today isn't my day,
yesterday left me stranded to lick my wounds,
wounds from lost battles I fought to win,
fighting losing battles is my forte.
I wore my armour before I marched forth for that skirmish,
the skirmish I had replayed over and over again in my head.
My armour covered me but my poor heart was left open, unprotected.
Tomorrow.. I promised myself,
tomorrow I will replace my shattered heart.

© 2008 Jyothi Samarthi

Psychobabble

One minute you are here, another you are there. Free-falling through the twisted colons of sinister life, although the fall is not free. Bumpy ride gets you somewhere, don't know where?!? That's how sinister life is. Keeps you guessing. Keeps you on your toes. Makes your heart run a marathon, leaving you breathless. You are in a dark room with just one door. Light on the other side, shadows underneath. Makes the hair on your nape stand up straight. Standing on the edge of a mountain, feeling the gush of the wind through your hair, whispering softly in your ear..to jump. You look down, your insides turn mushy, your feet get sweaty. Life tempts you, cajoles, begs, pushes. But you take a step back, turn and walk away. You are afraid. There is no bed of roses waiting for you at the bottom. Devil befriends you disguised like an angel. You look into his eyes and see the fire, but you don't see the masquerade, the faint peel of the mask. You chose to ignore, because you are a gullible child. You wait till his hot poker sticks out your chest, you gasp in pain but still smile. You think it was all a mistake. You live through it, but the hole remains as a sore remainder of your naiive trust. When will you learn? You pluck a green leaf off of a tree and turn it over. You see the beautiful green veins and understand the true meaning of life. Turn over a new leaf everyday and you learn that fear and anger can no longer touch you. Just be happy or in love.....

Ice is Thin

~For my best friend~

How fragile.... relationships are.. you never know until you've had one. If we were robots we'd function without emotions the way we were programmed to, but alas! It's not that easy! Two really rascally demons called the mind and the heart are forever fighting with each other and that is what makes us human. From time immemorial, the realms of love and happiness have been harped about by people who have absolutely no idea what they mean. No two persons can undergo the same emotion. There are several different ways of dealing with it and one person's point of view may not agree with the other. Why I am saying this? Because what I am about to convey, is not for you, so don't blame me if you screw your existing relationship after reading this! Solutions online are not tailor-made for your problems. Why I am writing this then? Well, you are not human if atleast once in your lifetime you don't feel this incessant urge to scribble your bit about love and happiness.. he he. What are blogs for anyways, If not for blabber-heads like me? ;)

So you are a man or a woman or both, you are in love, you suckers are walking on thin ice! Yes sirree! How dare you think that you can be happy forever?!! You decide to do a little tap dance because you are so happy, the freaking ice is going to break under your feet moron! And then you drop into the freezing water... feeling numb from cold or fear you don't know, drowning in water or sorrow, you don't know..scary huh? Sure is!

The conventionally superstitious fools blame it on the "Evil Eye".. such mad-rush these fools are in, they forget it's their own doing. No matter how many "Evil eyes" are floating around, following your every gasp of happiness or cry of ecstasy, it's still your own doing Bozo! As if it's not enough that your lazy, fat, middle finger is busy digging your nose for dried up boogers, you had to! I mean... HAD to put it through the tiny little hole in your pocket and tear the whole thing apart! Curious little critter, aren't you? You damn very well know there is nothing beyond that hole, but had to damage it anyway because you are so dumb! Alright, so you did that, over and done with. Now just be a little patient and try to sew those pieces together.

Wondering where the heck love and happiness figures in the above? My my! Aren't we clever! Ok, coming back, being in love or being too happy does feel like you are walking on thin ice, in laywoman terms:


1) If a guys loves you, shut your gob and let him.
2) If he really loves you, he will go all the way, no matter what, so still shut your gob and trust him.
3) If you are under the evil curse of the killer pms, shut your gob.
4) If you are such a smartypant, keep them on and don't read between his lines. Most of the time, his thinking happens in his brain only and not between his legs!
5) And finally, when he is talking, shut your gob and listen!!!

If you don't.. the ice is thin...

In layman terms:

1) If you love a woman, love her all the way.. including her highs and lows.
2) If you make promises, keep them.
3) If you've helped her build a dream castle, stay with her until you've both completed it.
4) If you are the reason, she is happy, make sure she stays happy all her life, so stay with her.
5) If she is under the evil curse of the killer pms, shut her gob up or if she's running her mouth don't listen to her.
6) If she cries, hug her.
7) If she emotionally blackmails you, understand that she doesn't mean it, she is just afraid of losing you.
8) If you don't like what she is doing, tell her to stop doing it. Trust me..she will.
9) Finally, all she needs is a little love, understanding and attention and ofcourse COMMITMENT! Give it to her and she will shut her gob!

If you don't.. the ice is thin...

In laylover's terms:

1)If you both are at the top of the mountain, don't push the other over the edge, the drop could be fatal. Instead, hold on to each other and stay safe.
2)If you have erred, take one step backward and take a giant leap forward! You may just end up crossing over the thin ice.
3)Do it together..do it for love and happiness... do it because life is too freaking short to give up so soon.
4)Patience is virtue, cowardice is vice.
5)L & H means the world to someone as do you.

If you don't, the ice is still thin...

Love,
Jo

Dedicated to all love-sick fools who are still struggling to make it to the other side.

In Front of your eyes

~For my Father without whom I am a nobody~

In front of your eyes,

This tiny bud bloomed into a flower
This ugly little duckling turned into a beautiful swan
This little fish braved the great seas
This little ant survived the floods
This little bird learned to fly
This little monkey let go to fall free among the tree branches
This little cub wandered far to learn the great ways of life
This baby elephant raced ahead of you bravely into the crocodile infested waters
This little phoenix is burning...daddy.. I need your hand, let me hold it tight, help me ....

Dearest,

Don't cry my little one
I was right behind you every time watching over you
And I am with you right now
Hold my hand,
Don't cry, your tears will only smolder the ashes
Let it burn, let the fire rage within you
Let not the fire sting you but fill you with strength
Let not the miseries of this world bog you down
Fight it like you are fighting your fire
Let not your own words, feelings and emotions poison you from within
Kill them with that fire
I am here my dearest, I will not let you destroy yourself
Here, Hold my hand and rise from the ashes

And thus this little phoenix conquered the fire and rose from the ashes again and again and again and yet again..

Image courtesy: Google images
(C) Copyrights 2007 Jo Samarthi

Sacrilege of love

Warning: Do not judge an author by her works. I speak for many women in this piece of work and is not an anecdote from my life. It's a random fictious episode in a woman's life.

"It's been awhile since I was loved. When was the last time someone called me up in the middle of the night to tell me he missed me? Think hard... harder..... never? yes..never.." She thought.

"So what were all those men in my life doing with me, if they weren't loving me? They owned me, threw me on their arms like a casual shawl, flaunted me. I was just an accessory, just like those fancy shmancy cellphones they owned, especially the flip types. So what was I thinking about these..er... casanovas? My other half, my life depends on him, there is no tomorrow without him today.. etc..etc. I hung on their arms like a casual shawl and flipped at every beck and call! Call me love's fool. A fool who didn't know what it was like to be loved in real. I smothered them with love until they couldn't breath anymore. They were there.. all the time, two-timing me, ignoring me, forgetting to call back, but they were always there. With them around me, my eyes were never dry...." she walked over to the draw by her bedside.

"I had these collectibles, stashed away in my secret draw, ofcourse it was not all that secret, I just like to call it that .."

She was rummaging in that draw the other day and found - couple of chocolate wrappers, a pen, some cards, bills, gift wrappers, movie tickets dried up rose petals, an empty pepsi can and a whole load of junk with dates on them. She separated them and put them into individual bags with the names of the boys it belonged to.

"Memories... no junk.... no..trash! Yeah I dropped them in the trash can one by one.. There ya go R! It was a pleasure knowing you.. As for you S, you stink! The trashcan is just the right place for you! Ahhhh T, you sure bought me a lot of stuff..sadly, they amounted to nothing but pain..! Let me flush some of you down the loo." And she emerged, from her room with a smile on her face, one that looked like a slit from ear to ear.

SHe sat on the sofa, closed her eyes and did a mental deletion, yeah just like that cute lil litter box on your windows desktop. Her memories have been erased and She is ready to make a fresh start. It's a self-fullfilled prophecy my darlings. She need to belong at all points of her life and She is on the prowl for "the one" to fulfill that void she just created.

"WAIT!!! what about love???" that familiar voice in her head. "No I'm not mental I swear! "But she answered it anyway.

"what do you mean what about love???? Didn't I get love? I mean, they kissed me, fondled me, brought me gifts, took me out, bought me lunch, dinner etc. In return, I possessed them, smothered them, freaked out on them. Isn't that love?" she retorted.

"You moron, love is above all that. If that was love in the true sense, would you still be alone, lonely and single?" that voice sure knows what it's talking about..

"Well, you have a point there, voice from my head! I kicked them to the curb, one by one, that means I did not love any of them. And they did not too, for they left me to tend to my wounds.. alone. It was not love,....

~IT WAS SACRILEGE~

Love is devoid of carnal desires
T'is not body, but souls that catch fire
Whirlwind of emotions that tangle and tighten
Hold on for love's sake until your feelings highten
Climb that ladder of ecstacy although miles apart
Because it's your heart that loves and not your body parts
Find faults and learn to love them
Cos perfection is a myth therefore flaws are gems
Touch, feel and taste
Love, but never in haste
Derive your nourishment
Give back in full measurement
When lust takes over love, you no longer live
Because it is desecration of the heart that loves to give
Lust has no use for a heart
When all it uses is a bodypart
T'is the sacrilege of love, one that plugs a mere hole
Love is truly love that fills the longings of an empty soul

~Jo Samarthi

Illustration : Jo Samarthi
Copyright © 2007 Jo Samarthi All rights reserved.