The Impatient Unemployed

Don't make me wait
Have you no mercy?
You are eating into my life
Have you no consideration?
Who gives you rights?
Don't make me count the minutes
I will surely miss a beat
Don't make me seeth in anger
Don't make me grind my teeth
I hate sitting on the edge of my seat
Waiting for my name to be called
I hate biting my lips in anticipation
I hate to be in this state of appall
I'm my time's master
And I will spare none for you
Why make me wait
When you have nothing to do?
So I'm leaving now
I'll never come back again
You can sit and wait for me forever
Then you will understand my pain....hmmph!

So saying, off she went!! impatient and yet still unemployed!!

© 2008 Jyothi Samarthi

Abstinence

~Abstinence~
{for the healthy, wealthy and wise, for longevity, for illness-free lives}

How now to hold my horses?
Sweaty brows, my thumbs are twiddling
I'm in a fix, how now to ignore the forces
which are mercilessly driving me to commit a diddling

Oh bother! A nervous wreck I may become
if I don't control that incessant urge
Petrified I step back heaving my heavy bosom
With a heavy hand I clutch my heart and feel a surge

The all too familiar aroma slashed the air
rose up and swiveled towards where I stood
beckoned me with it's invisible pair
of arms that encircled me forming a hood

My heart lurched, fear gripped my soul
Will I break the promise? Will I fail?
Will this manifestation of gluttony arrest me from reaching my goal?
Will I be imprisoned once again in that self-loathing jail?

The oodles of flesh on my body quivered
reminding me of the shame, disgust and alarm
I felt at the reflection on my mirror staring back and I shivered
Still fighting the menacing whiff from doing me harm

I closed my eyes and shut it all out
The platter, the odor, the rich sight of food
"I don't need you... leave me alone!!" I shout
I'm fat and unhealthy and it is just not good!

You dare to mock me, you dare to beckon
You dare to set upon me the forces
You think I cannot do this I reckon
I dare say I can, I will abstain I will hold my horses!

Jyothi Samarthi
Copyright © 2008

Pawsitivity

~Pawsitivity~

What do I know of misery,
of loneliness, hunger pangs,
of fights for survival or unhealed wounds?
Do those blood-sucking mites know of my existence?
Perhaps not, cause they feed on parched bodies in yonderland.
Lands I have never been a witness of, I have been protected,
by hands which picked me up when I knew not of my existence.
My destiny was shaped. I was fed and well-taken care of.
Back-rubs and playmates, never-ending tales of family times
Laughter and mirth are my cues to roll over or give them my best beady-eyed stare
to ooze cuteness, to bring forth the child in them.
Sometimes I sit by this windowsill , wondering about those doggoned mutts,
of their existence in yonderland, of their pain, thirst, hunger and loveless life.
I thank my serendipity, I am grateful for those hands that picked me up
for the gentle touch, the scratch behind my ears, the loving eyes, the familiar voices,
make me forget the doleful eyes that peered at me, through the rusted iron gate,
the gate behind which lies a secret, a land I have been forbidden, protected from..
Yonderland, the land of the doggone mutts.....

Jyothi Samarthi
Copyright © 2008
All rights reserved.

Words

~WORDS~

Those words, those benign string of alphabets
how they spring forth emotions
of happiness, of grief, of upsets
How they toy, with slow deliberation,
with dubious hearts, making them outlets
of raw, unabashed excitation

How they lift you up and put you down
when juxtaposed with a tinge of sadism
How they leave you hanging on to each one
until they dissolve into nothingness and leave you feeling lonesome
But then there are words uttered with intended pun
How they make you wonder the truth behind them
and leave you feeling bothersome

And those words, those glib talks
thrown in your face so carelessly
spurring deep inside a feeling of faux
and you try to pry it's true identity mercilessly
because you think truths were once lies,
but dig deep, deeper and you will uncover a paradox

Of many errors you make, you stereotype
words spoken many a times by many a mortal
you fail to understand that you are creating a hype
for each to his own, his words are his portal
into your life, his purpose, is of a different type
so open your doors to him and you can tell

Those words, those benign string of alphabets
how they steal a place in your heart
How they clutter your brain and flutter in your heart's closet
Those words..... trust them, so they don't tear you apart!


(c) Copyrights 2007 Jyothi Samarthi
All rights reserved.

In Front of your eyes

~For my Father without whom I am a nobody~

In front of your eyes,

This tiny bud bloomed into a flower
This ugly little duckling turned into a beautiful swan
This little fish braved the great seas
This little ant survived the floods
This little bird learned to fly
This little monkey let go to fall free among the tree branches
This little cub wandered far to learn the great ways of life
This baby elephant raced ahead of you bravely into the crocodile infested waters
This little phoenix is burning...daddy.. I need your hand, let me hold it tight, help me ....

Dearest,

Don't cry my little one
I was right behind you every time watching over you
And I am with you right now
Hold my hand,
Don't cry, your tears will only smolder the ashes
Let it burn, let the fire rage within you
Let not the fire sting you but fill you with strength
Let not the miseries of this world bog you down
Fight it like you are fighting your fire
Let not your own words, feelings and emotions poison you from within
Kill them with that fire
I am here my dearest, I will not let you destroy yourself
Here, Hold my hand and rise from the ashes

And thus this little phoenix conquered the fire and rose from the ashes again and again and again and yet again..

Image courtesy: Google images
(C) Copyrights 2007 Jo Samarthi

Abyssal Hollow

Note: This is a dark,sinister brooding poem, don't read it if you are happy :P ok..author was not unhappy writing it..she just likes to toy with words..come on! like she has to write happy stuff all the time! So shut up and read!

My musings on a rainy sunday evening...

I turned the pages.. ruminating on the many faceless apparitions..
some archaic.. some predominant..
They were faceless..yet their eyes bore into me
stripping me naked of cause..

They smelled me...they took a deep breath and filled themselves with my aroma..
a potpourri of love, lust, want, desire, need..
they all mean the same,
yet they were different..

Some kissed my lips...sucked my soul.. some kissed the tears away..
some bit me until they drew blood..
I flinched.. I cried..
I wailed in unremitting pain..

They clawed me with their barbarous talons dipped in acids
so my marks remained.. reminding me everyday... my usage , my role in their pleasure..not mine.. never mine..
I wish I can cross the rubicon...

They fooled me with their powers..subservient I am to become.. drowning my obsequious self in their words, in their promises, in their complaisance..
It was a ruse masquerading as a gallant inveigle..
I fell prey to the adulation...

My innards were turned to slush, my heart minced..
my soul battered.. my body drained..
filling themselves to the brim, the entities left one by one..
I wished them away..

Now I am just a hole...An Abyssal Hollow..
I closed the book..for it had blank pages ever since..

Copyright © 2006 Jyothi Samarthi
All rights reserved.
Picture Courtesy: Google Images

Still Believing in What I believed was Unbelievable

~Jodi the Fairy~

Deep in the forest, in Faraway land, Jodi the Fairy flitted about
darting from flower to flower ,soft-landing on petals
leaving a trail of fairy dust and sticking out her pout
at fist-weaving goblins whose flowery homes she muddled
Snickering at their angry green cheeks and stealthy as a stumble bug,
She flew around the big red mushroom and sneaked in on Barry the elf
Booed in his ears and startled him out of a sleep so snug
"Jodi, you mischief-maker! What do you think of yourself?"
Shouted a groggy and woozy Mr.Barry
Jiggling his heavy bottom and muttering under his breath
He picked up a pebble and threw it at Jodi the fairy
Ducking the pebble ,she laughed at his fret
Hovering in mid-air she waved her wand
Out came a cloud of fairy dust
that spread over every nook and corner of faraway land
"Happy dust for you my lovables"
said Jodi "To keep you happy and smiling always.
I'd be around everyday to muddle and to startle
to wave my pretty wand and to spray
Happy dust and love to keep all your worries at bay"

-Jo(di) Samarthi

As a child, I was always fascinated by fairies and goblins and wished with all my childish-heart that they really existed and that there indeed was a faraway land. I was introduced to their make-believe world through the works of Enid Blyton and read and re-read her works to dwell in my Utopian world. This fascination had carried forward to my adulthood and this past week, I was dreaming of fairies, magic and fairy dust. If there ever is a Faraway land, I wish to a be Fairy, to fly high in the sky, to smile and laugh and make mischief, make magic , make love, dip in dew and sip honey, flutter among exotica and slide on vines..

I want to believe in what I believe is unbelievable.....

Illustration: Jo
Copyright © 2007 Jyothi Samarthi
All rights reserved.

Sacrilege of love

Warning: Do not judge an author by her works. I speak for many women in this piece of work and is not an anecdote from my life. It's a random fictious episode in a woman's life.

"It's been awhile since I was loved. When was the last time someone called me up in the middle of the night to tell me he missed me? Think hard... harder..... never? yes..never.." She thought.

"So what were all those men in my life doing with me, if they weren't loving me? They owned me, threw me on their arms like a casual shawl, flaunted me. I was just an accessory, just like those fancy shmancy cellphones they owned, especially the flip types. So what was I thinking about these..er... casanovas? My other half, my life depends on him, there is no tomorrow without him today.. etc..etc. I hung on their arms like a casual shawl and flipped at every beck and call! Call me love's fool. A fool who didn't know what it was like to be loved in real. I smothered them with love until they couldn't breath anymore. They were there.. all the time, two-timing me, ignoring me, forgetting to call back, but they were always there. With them around me, my eyes were never dry...." she walked over to the draw by her bedside.

"I had these collectibles, stashed away in my secret draw, ofcourse it was not all that secret, I just like to call it that .."

She was rummaging in that draw the other day and found - couple of chocolate wrappers, a pen, some cards, bills, gift wrappers, movie tickets dried up rose petals, an empty pepsi can and a whole load of junk with dates on them. She separated them and put them into individual bags with the names of the boys it belonged to.

"Memories... no junk.... no..trash! Yeah I dropped them in the trash can one by one.. There ya go R! It was a pleasure knowing you.. As for you S, you stink! The trashcan is just the right place for you! Ahhhh T, you sure bought me a lot of stuff..sadly, they amounted to nothing but pain..! Let me flush some of you down the loo." And she emerged, from her room with a smile on her face, one that looked like a slit from ear to ear.

SHe sat on the sofa, closed her eyes and did a mental deletion, yeah just like that cute lil litter box on your windows desktop. Her memories have been erased and She is ready to make a fresh start. It's a self-fullfilled prophecy my darlings. She need to belong at all points of her life and She is on the prowl for "the one" to fulfill that void she just created.

"WAIT!!! what about love???" that familiar voice in her head. "No I'm not mental I swear! "But she answered it anyway.

"what do you mean what about love???? Didn't I get love? I mean, they kissed me, fondled me, brought me gifts, took me out, bought me lunch, dinner etc. In return, I possessed them, smothered them, freaked out on them. Isn't that love?" she retorted.

"You moron, love is above all that. If that was love in the true sense, would you still be alone, lonely and single?" that voice sure knows what it's talking about..

"Well, you have a point there, voice from my head! I kicked them to the curb, one by one, that means I did not love any of them. And they did not too, for they left me to tend to my wounds.. alone. It was not love,....

~IT WAS SACRILEGE~

Love is devoid of carnal desires
T'is not body, but souls that catch fire
Whirlwind of emotions that tangle and tighten
Hold on for love's sake until your feelings highten
Climb that ladder of ecstacy although miles apart
Because it's your heart that loves and not your body parts
Find faults and learn to love them
Cos perfection is a myth therefore flaws are gems
Touch, feel and taste
Love, but never in haste
Derive your nourishment
Give back in full measurement
When lust takes over love, you no longer live
Because it is desecration of the heart that loves to give
Lust has no use for a heart
When all it uses is a bodypart
T'is the sacrilege of love, one that plugs a mere hole
Love is truly love that fills the longings of an empty soul

~Jo Samarthi

Illustration : Jo Samarthi
Copyright © 2007 Jo Samarthi All rights reserved.

Just another Newbie :)

~A NewBie~

As old as I am in another virtual world,
Are mates whose anecdotes I hope to find here,
I've been told by all and sundry You'll love it here too, cos it's really easy
So here I am, with my own tales
some real, some trivial, some stale,
some that'd make you inhale
Even some that'll make you go ooomph!
Err, maybe not those that'd make you go harrumph! :P
If you are here reading this banter
You are very welcome here stranger
Nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary
I'm Jo and just another Newbie :D