Sacrilege of love

Warning: Do not judge an author by her works. I speak for many women in this piece of work and is not an anecdote from my life. It's a random fictious episode in a woman's life.

"It's been awhile since I was loved. When was the last time someone called me up in the middle of the night to tell me he missed me? Think hard... harder..... never? yes..never.." She thought.

"So what were all those men in my life doing with me, if they weren't loving me? They owned me, threw me on their arms like a casual shawl, flaunted me. I was just an accessory, just like those fancy shmancy cellphones they owned, especially the flip types. So what was I thinking about these..er... casanovas? My other half, my life depends on him, there is no tomorrow without him today.. etc..etc. I hung on their arms like a casual shawl and flipped at every beck and call! Call me love's fool. A fool who didn't know what it was like to be loved in real. I smothered them with love until they couldn't breath anymore. They were there.. all the time, two-timing me, ignoring me, forgetting to call back, but they were always there. With them around me, my eyes were never dry...." she walked over to the draw by her bedside.

"I had these collectibles, stashed away in my secret draw, ofcourse it was not all that secret, I just like to call it that .."

She was rummaging in that draw the other day and found - couple of chocolate wrappers, a pen, some cards, bills, gift wrappers, movie tickets dried up rose petals, an empty pepsi can and a whole load of junk with dates on them. She separated them and put them into individual bags with the names of the boys it belonged to.

"Memories... no junk.... no..trash! Yeah I dropped them in the trash can one by one.. There ya go R! It was a pleasure knowing you.. As for you S, you stink! The trashcan is just the right place for you! Ahhhh T, you sure bought me a lot of stuff..sadly, they amounted to nothing but pain..! Let me flush some of you down the loo." And she emerged, from her room with a smile on her face, one that looked like a slit from ear to ear.

SHe sat on the sofa, closed her eyes and did a mental deletion, yeah just like that cute lil litter box on your windows desktop. Her memories have been erased and She is ready to make a fresh start. It's a self-fullfilled prophecy my darlings. She need to belong at all points of her life and She is on the prowl for "the one" to fulfill that void she just created.

"WAIT!!! what about love???" that familiar voice in her head. "No I'm not mental I swear! "But she answered it anyway.

"what do you mean what about love???? Didn't I get love? I mean, they kissed me, fondled me, brought me gifts, took me out, bought me lunch, dinner etc. In return, I possessed them, smothered them, freaked out on them. Isn't that love?" she retorted.

"You moron, love is above all that. If that was love in the true sense, would you still be alone, lonely and single?" that voice sure knows what it's talking about..

"Well, you have a point there, voice from my head! I kicked them to the curb, one by one, that means I did not love any of them. And they did not too, for they left me to tend to my wounds.. alone. It was not love,....

~IT WAS SACRILEGE~

Love is devoid of carnal desires
T'is not body, but souls that catch fire
Whirlwind of emotions that tangle and tighten
Hold on for love's sake until your feelings highten
Climb that ladder of ecstacy although miles apart
Because it's your heart that loves and not your body parts
Find faults and learn to love them
Cos perfection is a myth therefore flaws are gems
Touch, feel and taste
Love, but never in haste
Derive your nourishment
Give back in full measurement
When lust takes over love, you no longer live
Because it is desecration of the heart that loves to give
Lust has no use for a heart
When all it uses is a bodypart
T'is the sacrilege of love, one that plugs a mere hole
Love is truly love that fills the longings of an empty soul

~Jo Samarthi

Illustration : Jo Samarthi
Copyright © 2007 Jo Samarthi All rights reserved.